My Gas Guzzling Woes

I do hate being labelled a Gas Guzzler. Because I’m a bit of an environmentalist at heart, I did actually feel guilty about the fact that my car was a thirsty beastie, plus my wallet never really forgave me.

This was bad enough but during the past few of years the press have increasingly labeled me a gas-guzzler and an environmental menace simply because I drive a 4 by 4 vehicle.

Boo hiss! Get that 25mpg 8-seater gas guzzler off the road you selfish planet burner!

Hooray! There goes Sir Geoffrey in his oh so green BMW 760, pulling a planet saving 13mpg. Well done...

Here comes good old Tarquin in his penny-pinching 11mpg Lambo supercar.

Am I? Well yes, apparently, as a man who drives an eight-seater vehicle that does 25mpg I am a gas-guzzling yob. Fortunately others seem to have merrily avoided this dogma. For instance:

Executive cars doing between 12 and 18 mpg with their 4 litre plus petrol engines are apparently exempt from inclusion in this category So is the mayor with his 6 litre Daimler Anyone with a sports car capable of hauling half a supermodel and a toothbrush at 200 mph with an engine the size of a small town And finally those oh so green buses that we’re all encouraged to ride as they burn diesel at a rate of 4 to 5 mpg and sit revving their engines whilst between journeys.

So it seems I am the gas guzzler…

Kiss My Axel

However, since my car now runs on vegetable oil, a much greener fuel, it's carbon neutral. It barely gives off any emissions and in the unlikely event of my spilling any cooking oil, it's biodegradable. So given this, who're the real gas guzzlers?

But again, I'm getting ahead of myself...